Horrorville

It's Not In My Head

I saw Annabelle a couple of nights ago. It was the last show of the day at 10.20 PM. Not that I wanted to see it, but my friends insisted, nay ordered. I had no choice. 

They - "We're going to see Annabelle tonight, last show."

Me - "I can't. I have something else I need to do"

"Like what?"

Mind completely blank, I blurt the first thing that come to my macho mind - "It's that time of the month when..." I start protesting weakly.

"Oh shut up! You're coming and we've already booked your tickets."

"But I don't want to! Can't we see One Direction instead?"

*Disbelieving silence*

Me - "Of course I'm kidding...HA HA HA HA." I laugh maniacally. "Annabelle it is." 

Not wanting to be thought a wuss, I went along. 

Was the movie scary? I have no idea. The reviews said it was a disappointment. I wouldn't know. What I did was, I crouched low in my seat until my knees were just about level with my chin. Folding my 6'2" frame so low in the seat was a real task. Then I spent the rest of the time staring at the glowing, red exit sign just below the screen. Even now, when I close my eyes, I still see the red exit sign. And that's all I ever saw! 

Not that I'm afraid of the dark, but every time I watch a horror movie, my mind converts every single sound in the night into something scary. The creaking of my bed betrays the girl from The Ring hiding underneath it. The rustle of the curtains reveals the silhouette of the woman from The Grudge. And the shape of the bedside lamp in the dark looks like the face of Tim Curry (It makes me shudder every time).

I get over it of course, but until then I usually drink a bottle of cough syrup to knock me out, cover myself from head to toe with my blanket (taking special care to tuck it under my feet), and force myself to think of non-scary movies like Kung Fu Panda, Madagascar and Paranormal Activity (Seriously! Two hours of watching people sleep, eat, talk, watch TV and sleep some more, all with shoddy camera work is an invitation to seizure inducing boredom). 

Which is why I've decided that while it's all in my head, why put it there in the first place?