None The Worse: The OfficeHear the trillLoud and shrillGet out of...

None The Worse:
The OfficeHear the trillLoud and shrillGet out of...: The Office Hear the trill Loud and shrill Get out of bed, yawn, arise Rub the sleep from your eyes Morning ablutions and break...

None The Worse: None The Worse: Sign of ProsperityWhy I'd Rather B...

None The Worse: None The Worse: Sign of ProsperityWhy I'd Rather B...: None The Worse: Sign of ProsperityWhy I'd Rather Be Poor We all co... : Sign of Prosperity Why I'd Rather Be Poor We all con...

The Office

Hear the trill

Loud and shrill

Get out of bed, yawn, arise

Rub the sleep from your eyes

Morning ablutions and break your fast

Hasten, commute, the hour is past

Boot up, check emails and call

Meetings, ignore the inevitable pall

Lunch and tea, an eye on the watch

Quitting time, hasten back to dine and lodge

None The Worse: Sign of ProsperityWhy I'd Rather Be PoorWe all co...

None The Worse: Sign of ProsperityWhy I'd Rather Be Poor
We all co...: Sign of Prosperity Why I'd Rather Be Poor We all convince ourself that it won't happen to us. We convince ourselves that we&...

Sign of Prosperity

Why I'd Rather Be Poor

We all convince ourself that it won't happen to us. We convince ourselves that we're doing enough to keep it at bay. Then we ignore the signs that it is happening, that it has started, and unless we reign it in, it will continue to grow. Until one day, it's too late. We've ignored it too long and it's here. There's no hiding it. I'm talking of course, about a beer belly (or as teetotallers call it, lassi belly).

I admit it - I was in denial! Being a tall, lanky lad, I assumed I would never get it. After all, back then I never drank. Had enough physical activity. I may not have been healthy, but I was gloriously, marvellously, fabulously thin! Of course, I'm still thin (enough) now. Only I have a beer belly. The combination makes me look like I have kwashiorkor.   

Unlike a beer induced hangover which goes away with a Saridon, a hot shower and some food in the stomach, a beer induced fat belly unfortunately doesn't go away. Love your curves, so long as it doesn't make you look like a three month pregnant man (fast approaching the second trimester). 

Of course, as I transitioned from student to employee, my life became more sedentary. The bulk of my week now consists of slouching slack-jawed with glazed eyes in front of the computer screen, sitting up straight whenever the boss passes by and pretending to work (I believe in working as much as you're paid). My only exercise now consists of eyebrow lifts and tongue push ups (Gym?? Hah! As if!)

Now my belly has gone beyond hiding. Bulky tees just don't conceal it. The fat refuses to settle in my biceps and triceps. Whatever triceps are! Never having had any muscle worth flaunting (my derriere, unfortunately, doesn't attract any fat), I'm woefully unaware of musculature except biceps. If I try to suck in my belly, I'm unable to breathe at the same time. 

Once upon a time, a rotund friend of mine joked about his Santa belly, saying that it's a sign of prosperity. I don't know about him, but I'd sure rather be poor. 

None The Worse: Fire in the BellyThere's No Career Other Than Bein...

None The Worse: Fire in the BellyThere's No Career Other Than Bein...: Fire in the Belly There's No Career Other Than Being an Engineer  Not really the type to rant in script (I much prefer verbal di...

Fire in the Belly

There's No Career Other Than Being an Engineer 

Not really the type to rant in script (I much prefer verbal diarrhoea), but sometimes me thinks some things are better left unsaid (not unwritten). For long, the coveted career of choice for sons was engineer/doctor (still is, it seems). You'd think the vast number of new, unconventional careers popping up would have reassured the average Indian parent that your child can really become anything. But not really.

It doesn't matter what you do after you earn that engineering degree - MBA in marketing, career in law, or financial laundering, as long as you have that hallowed degree. In college, girls chose science or commerce, and boys choose only science. Wasn't that how the parochiality worked? If you don't follow convention and get that most sought after of B.Sc's, then shame on you! How will you earn lots of money? (because nothing else matters, not even doing something that you like). How will you get married? (because apparently a B.A. makes you unqualified for marriage). 

Sure there's doctors, but let's be honest here, they're a special breed. Unlike an International Operations Consultant or a Manager of Special Corporate Affairs or what have you not, a doctor does not need to explain what he does. A person just says (s)he's a doctor and immediately (s)he gets respect. If they say they're a surgeon, then respect overload. But to get there needs a lot of brains, hard work, dedication, perseverance, money (money, rather a lack of it, has squashed more dreams than Simon Cowell has) and most importantly, the ability to not get squeamish around blood and guts.

That's why, for squeamish people, the next best thing is to be an engineer. Unless math utterly baffles you. If you are like me, you could learn all the formulae by heart and be able to recite them backwards in morse code just as you have fallen asleep, but you just don't know how to apply them. So rather than suffer in perpetuity through engineering school and the afterlife, we chose anything else.

And thence starts the passive-aggressive communication between parent and spawn. Those not-so-subtle references to somebody else's child who did become an engineer and now, lives in Australia and earns more than the GDP of Peru. Then, while your net worth increases at the same pace as the continents slide towards each other, the not-so-subtle references turn to obvious remonstrations. So while you thought that this weekend you could slouch in front of the TV doing an uncanny imitation of rigor mortis, your procreator thinks you need to get a life. 

Which is why, before the metaphors start flying thick and fast (You don't have the fire in the belly to do something with your life!), get an engineering degree and then do what you want. 

None The Worse: The PlungeHe scanned the skies, garbed in redGot ...

None The Worse: The Plunge
He scanned the skies, garbed in redGot ...: The Plunge He scanned the skies, garbed in red Got in the flight with feet of lead The engines roared and came to life As drea...

The Plunge

He scanned the skies, garbed in red

Got in the flight with feet of lead

The engines roared and came to life

As dread impaled his heart like a knife

Up they flew toward infinite space

His heart raced and sped it's pace

Through broken clouds and pierced light

Up into the void against earth's might

All too soon came the call

To take the plunge and begin the fall 

And so he fell, back towards earth

The biggest rush for what it's worth

The roaring wind slapped his face

As he dropped with but little grace

And the rising earth curved below

The sun behind giving him a halo

And then he smiled beatific

As he thought this terrific

Time and him were in a race

As he rushed to accept earth's embrace

When all of a sudden, with a timely jolt

The chute deployed, shocking him a volt

And he pulled back, seemingly to the sky

The earth dropped below him, he let out a cry

The most fetching view he had ever seen

Sprawled below him, expressing awe's gene

He marvelled, gaped and basked in the rush

It made his eyes water and his cheeks flush

As he gently thumped back to the ground

His senses recouped, his mind all wound

He was amazed, awed and all

Because of that mighty fall